Wind Beneath My Wings, Fist In My Face

Hell's Trap (Trampa Infernal) (1989)

Director: Pedro Galindo III

Writers: Pedro Galindo III, Santiago Galindo

Starring: Pedro Fernández, Edith González, Charly Valentino and Toño Mauri

Nachos make for a great snack. Who knew Nacho was the name for a hero too? I didn't, not until I witnessed the greatest 70 some minutes of south of the border slasher love ever.

Mullets are cool says Nacho

Nacho (King of mullets) and his best buddy Charly (A Mexican Sammo Hung?) enjoy betting on their paintball games against local a-hole Mauricio. After he latest crushing defeat at the hands of Nacho, Mauricio loses it. He decides the best way to get Nacho is to challenge him to a bear hunt! And not just any old bear. No, this one is supposedly responsible for killing some hunters. So, Nacho and Mauricio head into the woods for a little bear hunt. Along for the ride are Charly (Of course!), Alejandra (Nacho's hot, punch-happy girl), Javier (Mauricio's best bud) and their airhead (Cannon fodder) girlfriends. Our gang checks in with local arms dealer and roadside living crazy Jeremias, before heading out into the countryside for some bear whooping. Unbeknownst to our gang there's is Jesse, a crazed ex-Vietnam vet, who happens to like living in a cave and is "still at war...with everybody!" Though Jesse has no girl, he does have a mask, a shit load of weapons and many traps. By nightfall Jesse is on the hunt for our intrepid bear hunters.

Time for paddle ball

Just when we thought we'd run out of crazed slashers, along comes Hell's Trap or Trampa Infernal if you'd prefer. Trampa brings the sizzle and it brings the steak. We get a brisk pace. At a nearly 77 minutes this sucker doesn't have time for holding hands. But it does have time for some paddle ball. We get some basic setup and then it's off to the woods. No muss, no fuss. You want your backwoods stalk 'n' slash fix quick and Trampa knows it.

Paging Mr. Awesome

What about the characters? Well, Nacho is Nacho. He's an all around cool dude, loves his best pal Charly, loves his stonewash, his mullet and his girlfriend. Speaking of which, that Alejandra is a feisty one, or would that be fisty? She hasn't met a face she wouldn't like to sock. Not only does she like to punch, she also looks damn good in denim. Then there's Charly, he may be fat and sleep a bunch, but he's as much a hero as Nacho. There's more then a few instances here where Charly comes through. If this was an American made slasher Charly would be just your stock fat character to be killed off and nothing more. Which brings me to Mauricio, Javier and their girlfriends. These four are your stock horror characters. A douche, his buddy and their bubble headed gals. If there's one fault I had with Trampa Infernal it's them. These guys are there simply to make bad decisions and get killed. Nothing more.

Hood Ornament

That just leaves one more character worth mentioning, one awesome bag of badass killer named Jesse! Besides sporting a white mask and snazzy blonde wig combo Jesse likes wearing the Fred Krueger sanctioned finger blades. Unlike your Freddy or Jason though Jesse also likes to bring it with a bow, grenades and an M-16! He's also an ace at making booby traps.

Trampa? Infernal? Indeed!

Welterweight denim queen

A Fast, fun and straightforward little slasher. Trampa Infernal is 77 minutes well spent south of the border. Nacho is the man! Jesse is pure awesome. Charly has your back. Alejandra, oh Alejandra...call me! Bring the denim. I don't mind an occasional punch. Just watch the face.