Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Put your weight on it! My Top Ten Favorite Films of 2013


Every year It's the same thing. I look over the list expecting not to find enough films to put on my list. And every year I end up with more the expected. It's tough cutting so many good films from the list. I picked the ones that had the greatest impact on me. Ones I was still thinking about days later.

Honorable Mentions:

Satan's Blade (1984)

Filled with all the bad movie fun you'd want and some pretty brutal slasher kills. A odd cocktail of a movie to be sure, but one worth watching if you dig low rent '80's slasher films.

The Lords of Salem (2012)

Rob Zombie's latest is a step away from the redneck antics of his previous films. It's more Ken Russell crossed with '70's Italian horror film. The heavy metal video climax is a little too goofy but the good here outweighs the bad.



10) The Johnsons (1992)

There's seven crazy brothers, an ancient prophecy, incest  AND  a giant monster-god embryo in a crystal. I have to say I really had no idea what I was in store when sitting down to watch The Johnsons. Quite a unique Dutch horror film.


9) Gang Wars (1976)

"Buddha is dead... and I'm not feeling so hot myself!"

Warhawk Tanzania (Now that's a name!) battles an ancient demon hiding in the subway. Tanzania plays  a New York City Kung-Fu instructor Luke Curtis. An ancient amulet brings a demon to the city. Martial Arts heavy gang and demon battles ensue. The only thing that could top this would be Jim Kelly vs. Blacula.


8) Revolver (1973)

After watching Revolver I'm convinced that Oliver Reed kick the ass of most of Hollywood's current "Tough Guy" actors. He spends half the film like a rabid bulldog as he tries to rescue his wife from some mobsters. I dug director Sergio Sollima's western Run, Man, Run as well. Also, I desperately want  Fabio Testi's coat!


7) Dillinger (1973)

Speaking of badass actors, Dillinger gives us Warren Oates tearing through 1930's  American Midwest robbing banks. As good as he is in the title role it's Harry Dean Stanton as Homer Van Meter who steals every scene he's in. He also gets the best death in the film.



6) The Asphyx (1973)

Classic '70's horror from the UK with a pinch of Steampunk. The film is graced with a unique concept and good performances.  The screeching of the Asphyx is unsettling to say the least.


5) Panic in Year Zero! (1962)

I fully expected this film to be corny as hell. To my pleasant surprise it was quite gripping and dark. Ray Milland's everyman father keeps a cool head even when faced with some tough moral choices. Would go well on a double bill with The Day After.


4) American Mary (2012) 

 Katharine Isabelle gets her best role since Ginger Snaps. We watch Mary go from struggling, hopeful med student to a cold, calculating underground doctor. American Mary has body modification, strippers, revenge and a woman that wants to be Barbie doll in the worst way.


3) Disco Godfather (1979)

"Attack the Whack." 

Disco Godfather, the first time I saw it I just could not believe what I was seeing. Rudy Ray Moore disco dancing in the tightest pants known to man. An exorcism that comes out of nowhere. Really bad martial arts. Terrible fashions. And a PCP demon witch lady. Truly this film has everything I love.  


2) Color Me Blood Red (1965)

Color me Blood Red completes director Hershell Gordon Lewis' infamous Blood-trilogy and it's my favorite film of the three, it's goofy, entertaining and a cheesy gore spectacular. There are more '60's hep cats in this then those episodes of The Beverly Hillbillies where Jethro Bodine was hanging out at the Beatnik  club.


1) I Saw the Devil (2010)

Unsettling. Haunting. Beautiful. Gorgeous cinematography. The camera work is simple but effective. There are scenes that look like paintings come to life. Visceral fight scenes and brutal, unflinching murders. A great revenge film.


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