Sunday, February 1, 2009
Review: Death Machines (1977)
Death Machines (1976)
I don't even know were to fucking start with this one, but I'll try. There's Three martial artists under the control of an evil woman (Madame Lee who talks like shes constipated.) who uses drugs to make them zombie like killers. Madame Lee's killers goes around offing Mr. G's (some sort of crime boss) hitmen so she can be the only game in town. Well this gets Mr. G all pissed so he makes a deal to use her zombie death machines for his hits. well needless to say lots of people get wacked including all but one dude in a dojo, who gets his hand cut off. So the police start investigating, The police try their best to stop the killers, bikers get beat up, the one handed dude falls in love and Madame Lee stays constipated.
Man this movie is all over the place. One part kung fu, one part crime movie and part love story.There's a bizzaro synth score. Plus the martial artists are of the I watched Enter the Dragon 100 times on tv varity. It's one big explosion of what the fuck. I love movies like this, ones that don't seem to care if the plot is incoherent. Characters come and go, their fates never reveled. There's no real main character. The movie flirts with the idea of the police detective investigating the dojo massacre being the main character but then it switches to Frank the dude who lost his hand at the dojo and his job as a one handed bartender at a strip club and his falling in love with the nurse from hospital who took care of him. I guess the three killers could be the main characters but they never say word one, and I've seen more emotion from Jason Voorhees.
I don't think this movie was written as much as it was filmed as they went along, like the second season of Heroes. This film is like manna from bad film heaven. So grab a few friends, some popcorn and your strongest alcoholic beverage and enjoy the hell out this movie. I found a bargain DVD at the dollar store, but there's a official DVD release out there somewhere from Rhino.