Hump Day Posters: The Giant Spider Invasion

Croaked

Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (1975)

Director: Bill Rebane

Writers: Mike Landers, Jerry Gregoris, Lyoma Denetz

Starring: Bruno Alexander, Julie Wheaton, Glenn Scherer, Brad Ellingson, Karen McDiarmid

"Half man... half frog..."

Leg show

Damn! Damn! I've been ruined and I blame Bill Rebane. See I've watched more then a few of his films lately and... There's a certain cozy charm to them. They're perfect for a chilly autumn evening's viewing. Preferably wrapped in some warm blankets, sporting a groovy 70's design. It also seems I can't watch a movie anymore with out it being low budget, grainy, fullscreen and made between 1970 and 1989. With all that in mind I popped in Mr. Rebane's swamp monster epic.

Groovin'

Kelly Jr. has returned to the island were he grew up with his terrycloth robe wearing girlfriend Chris. As the lounge about the spacious cabin he tells her about when he was a child and a female paleontologist Dr. Elli and her niece Susan came to the island. Dr. Elli is there to investigate a strange bone fragment found on the island. Another paleontologist named Sorensen shows up too, but something or somebody kills him off quick. There's also a local legend about some gold hidden in the lake bottom. Legend states that frog creature/god known as Rana guards the gold and kills all that come looking for it. The gold is what three shady men posing as loggers have come in search of. Every movie needs a crazy old hermit/doom sayer and this film has one named Charlie. He mucks around, takes pot shots at the "loggers" and warns people about the monster.

Observe and report

That's pretty much the whole film. Kelly Jr. narrates and once in awhile the film will cut back to them in the cabin. They appear to be making out as he narrates part of the story! This movie is like The Legend of Boggy Creek. Except there's a frog monster instead of Bigfoot and even less happans here then in Boggy Creek. In a few action scenes Rebane channeled Sam Peckinpah. People died in ridiculous and way out of place slow-mo. There's some hilarious bad touch action in one scene when a scuba diving logger gets all touchy feely with teenage Susan. Speaking of Susan there's a great scene were she's rocking out to some tunes in her tent. Was that some sort of ancient iPod she was using? Also worth seeing is the scene were the hermit is talking to himself as he cooks on the stove. He drinks, pours some booze into the stewpot. And in the background, his pet goat tries to climb onto his bed, falls down and tips over a crate. One take mayhap?

Just chill'n

Most people will probably be bored to tears. There's not much action to speak of here and the monster doesn't get more then about five minutes of screen time. But those five minutes are a dozy. So if you're like me and have to see all of Bill Rebane's work or have a hankering for a swamp monster flick, visit Rana. Just don't try to pilfer his gold.

Aliens love synthesizer music

Invasion from Inner Earth (1974)
aka They

Director: Bill Rebane

Writer: Barbara J. Rebane

Starring: Paul Bentzen, Debbi Pick, Nick Holt, Karl Wallace, Robert Arkens, Arnold Didrickson,

"About 8000 years ago, the planet Mars came within very close proximity to the Earth— even closer than our own moon."

Those Guys, You know...They

Ah 70's regional filmmaking, it can be a fun rewarding experiance watching one of these films. It can also a real head scratcher. When it comes Wisconsin homeboy Bill Rebane you get a bit of both. I've had the strange pleasure of seeing a couple of his films before. Well not learning my lesson from watching those gems and from UFO: Target Earth . I cracked open the Nightmare Worlds - 50 Movie Pack DVD from Mill Creek Entertainment again and put in another "classic" Rebane flick.

Me brain hurts

Out in the middle of East Jesus, bush-plane pilot and nature dude Jake Stephens (Holt) returns from hunting. He tells his sister, Sarah (Pick) that the wildlife has all but vanished. There's three other people staying with the brother/sister team at their cabin. Three "researchers" who are doing "science" out in the woods. They've been staying at the cabin for the better part of a month and are getting ready to head back to civilization. There's Eric (Wallace), the handsome leader of the team. There seems to be a little romance between Eric and Sarah we're told. It doesn't really amount to anything though. Next is Andy (Arkens), the bitchy know it all. Last is Stan (Bentzen), the older joker and wise sage dude. So Jake takes the three to the nearby town of Hightower in his plane, while city hating Sarah decides to stay at the cabin. In Hightower air-traffic controller Sam warns Jake not to land because everyone in town is dying of some plague-like sickness. Sam himself appears to be sick as well and when Jake tries to land Sam runs out on to the landing strip and promptly drops dead. Wisely deciding not to land, Jake heads off to Bear Creek Lodge, which has it's own airfield as well. At the lodge, the boys split up. Stan and Andy go to start the generator, whilst Jake and Eric use the shortwave radio in the lodge. All they can get is static. Meanwhile Stan and Andy hear strange noises and see a creepy red light. The four decide to head back to the Stephens cabin.

Snowblind

Back at the cabin they theorize and theorize and theorize some more about what the F is going on. Wait! Before you're bored into a coma the film cuts to strange interludes involving late-night TV talk show where the guests talk about having alien encounters. A teenage boy and a girl vanish into thin air while watching the show, for no particular reason. Another of these interludes features a radio DJ going crazy because there's no one else alive. Plus we get some scenes of people panicking as UFO's attack cities, killing people with red smoke. Meanwhile back at the Stephens cabin, our gang slowly dwindles in number. First Andy, when he takes the plane and the red light blows him up. Then Jake, when he tries to reach town on his snowmobile. He collapses and disappears. Our final three head out to try and find some answers. The three get split up, one dies and two reunite and we're treated to a amazing headache inducing ending, which I won't got into because really you need to see it and scream “What the fuck?!?!” like I did.

Run, Sarah, Run

What I both love and hate about a Bill Rebane film is his total disregard for the audience and narrative technique. Do you want action? Well screw you because old Bill is going to give you talk and nothing but. Want to know what these aliens are all about? What about the creepy voice on the radio that talks to our heroes once in awhile? How about what that red light? How does it tie-in? Well, Bill ain't spilling. This film defies being called good or bad. It's a strange 70's low-budget film that in the end has a quaintness to it. Strangest of all, for a film that's 90% talk, it's never really boring. I didn't even fall asleep during it. Plus it's got a synthesizer music, that sounds like it was done on your little brother's Casio. You can't beat that.

Bill Rebane kicks my ass...twice

The Demons of Ludlow (1983)

Director: Bill Rebane

Writers: William Arthur, Alan Ross

Staring: Paul von Hausen, Stephanie Cushna, Patricia J. Statz and William Dexter

The joys of late night Television in the late eighties. That's were I first saw Bill Rebane's The Demons of Ludlow. At the time for a kid that hadn't seen a lot of weird movies it was an odd little film. One I had pretty much all but forgotten about until this weekend. I was shopping with Dan when I found a fifty film! Chilling Classics collection of horror films for cheap! One of the selling points Was Bad Taste by Peter Jackson! But this film was another selling point. Instantly that late night viewing years ago snap into the forefront of my brain and The Demons of Ludlow was forgotten no more.



On the 200th birthday celebration for the town of Ludlow the townspeople are given a piano as a gift. The piano belonged to the town's founder Ludlow, who 200 years ago got his hands cut off by some towns folk for being a warlock. His spirit, along with some others and a few demons lurk in the piano to get revenge on the town. Soon the descendent's of those that wronged him are meeting horrible ends.



Does John Carpenter know about this? It's seems a little (a lot) like The Fog. Well here's another film that played better when I was younger. This film is real damn cheesy. From the scene were the ghosts rip off a girl's dress to the scene were they pelt an old woman with rocks in her bed I was laughing. There's also a rich scene were a glowing hand kills a fornicating teen. But the crowning scene had to have been during the climax when the piano flies about by it's evil power. But there's still a few scenes that have an eerie feel to them. Plus the winter setting helps add to the isolated feel. Nowhere near being a classic, but ya know what? I still dig it. Mainly for the memories. I was glad to get the chance to visit Ludlow again. Someday I'll probably return there.



On a double bill with The Demons of Ludlow on that disk was another Bill Rebane film.



The Cold aka The Game (1984)

Director: Bill Rebane

Writers: William Arthur, Larry Dreyfus

Staring: Tom Blair, Carol Perry, Stuart Osborne and Lori Minnetti



The story such as it is concerns three rich geezers. These Geezers like to invite nine poor people to this inn that they've rigged with various things to scare the crap out of the poor folks. Because if they can stay the allotted amount of time with out fleeing they win 1,000,000 dollars. Before you can say Ten Little Indians people start vanishing and fingers start pointing at culprits.



At times funny due to the early eightyiesness of everything in this film. I really was torn on this movie. It had it's goofy moments. But much of the film just jumps from one wooden character to the other. The only ones you can tell apart are the dude with the mustache and the two chicks that take off their clothes a lot. I had no idea which character was which and what other then money motivated them. With twenty minutes left to the movie it pulls a Return of the King and whips out one climax after another and why to many twists. In the end I had no idea who or what was really behind any of the shanagins.


                                                      
Both were a little slice of early eighties low budget horror that had more ideas then money and actors who got one shot at fame. Demons while not perfect I can help but like. While The Cold is too convoluted for it's own good. I'd give someone else's left nut to see a Code Red DVD of The Demons of Ludlow.