Monday, September 21, 2009

Haylie and the Lunatics

Backwoods (2008)

Director: Marty Weiss

Writer: Anthony Jaswinski

Starring: Haylie Duff, Ryan Merriman, Danny Nucci, Mark Rolston, Deborah Van Valkenburgh

"Everybody loves a little head."

Hey ladies

A young couple out camping in Jasper Park up North California are attacked by a group of men. The man is killed and his girlfriend is taken by the men to their home to meet mom. Aww sweet. Mom tells the girl that she's part of the family now and is impregnated. Okay, that's not to sweet. Cut to A couple of months later, in Los Angeles, A video game company manager awards the top employees to a corporate weekend paint ball retreat in the same park as the campers that were attacked. After making a brief stop at the typical creepy gas station, the group sets up two camps in the woods. One for each team. Despite some creepy sounds that night the group sticks around and get on with the games that morning. The games arn't under way for long before the two groups start seeing strange things like glimpses of people following them and booby traps. One group discovers a dilapidated house and are swiftly taken out. The remaining group has to fight for survival against an small army of crazies.

Thank you

Take a little The Hills Have Eyes, some Just Before Dawn and a pinch of Wrong Turn. Mix them together and BAM! You get Backwoods, not original in any way possible, but does that mean Backwoods is a bad film? No. The acting (for the most part), direction and effects are fine. However there was just nothing there thats new or different. A few of the team members are real and I mean real annoying. I was counting the minutes to their demise. Haylie Duff, yep that Haylie Duff is fine as our finial girl Lee. And yes she looks good too. Besides her, Ryan Merriman as the nerdy and sensible Adam did a good job with his role. These two were the only characters that registered. Even the killers were bland. The mother played by Deborah Van Valkenburgh from The Warriors and Streets Of Fire and Mark Rolston who has a history of playing pricks on screen were the only standouts. There's a big hulking killer dude too. But he really doesn't get to do much. Truthfully the movie could have been just the hulking dude offing the campers and that would have been fine. Instead there's a whole big bland cult of killers with no real personality.

Bummer dude

Not terrible by any stretch. Just a been there, done that feel to the whole thing. If you have an hour and a half to waste. Have seen every backwoods slasher out there and have a desperate need to see Haylie Duff menaced by lunatics that want to breed with her, well Backwoods may be what your looking for.

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