Monday, March 15, 2010

In the land of perms and mullets


Hitcher In The Dark (1989)

Director: Umberto Lenzi

Writers: Umberto Lenzi, Olga Pehar

Starring: Joe Balogh, Josie Bissett, Jason Saucier, Robin Fox

"Hey. Who do you think you are? Mickey Rourke."

Bad hair daze 

Umberto Lenzi. When I see that name in the credits I'm never sure what to expect. He did Spasmo, a decent enough giallo. He also brought us the naval contemplating horror of Black Demons. The Cannibal films, Eaten Alive and Cannibal Ferox. And his masterpiece of cheesy fun...Nightmare City. I was very curious to see how Hitcher In The Dark would stack up against his other films.

He's no Mickey Rourke.

Misogynistic psycho momma's boy Mark (Balogh) cruises around Virginia Beach in his Winnebago, picking up female hitchhikers, making them take the place of his dead mother and killing them when they can't cut it. After dumping his latest victim in the swamp for the gators to eat, he sets his sights on a slim blonde Daniela (Bissette of Melrose Place) as his next pick-up. Mark spy's her gyrating to some really bad music and fighting with her blond beefcake boyfriend. Deciding to make his move he gives her a ride and slips her a mickey. After a futile escape attempt, Mark cuts her blonde hair short and dyes it brown, like his mom's. Mark and Daniela engage in a battle of wills. Daniela tries to seduce and sweet talk her way to freedom. As Mark attempts to assert his will upon her. Whilst this is going on her beefy boyfriend is trying to track her down. Will Daniela make good her escape? Will Mark be feeding the gators another body. Or will Beefy Mcbeefcake come to the rescue?

No! Shoot  Lenzi!

Lenzi directs the film with almost no style. The suspense in nil. Acting? What acting? There's very little blood and gore. There's some awful nudity and mullets galore. A truly terrable dance number and a wet t-shirt contest! In the interview included on the disc Lenzi seems to be under the pretense he's delving into the mind of a troubled killer. But what we get is a Lifetime movie with mullets, boobs (in front and behind the camera.) and late 80's synthesizer cheese. The box proclaims it to be a giallo. I think not! Worth a viewing if your in the mood for a seedy slice of fromage.

1 comment:

Dan said...

Battle of Wills? With those two? That must have been a Contest of Champions...

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